Wednesday, October 13, 2010

GIVE ME A BREAK

CONFESSION: I watch Dr Oz.  Not because I'm a germaphobe or hypocondriac.  But at my age I am just a bit curious about what the heck happened to my body.  Why, in the blink of an eye did my body head south while my mind ended up in LaLa land?  I want answers people!  So while other stay-at-home business owners might listen to music while they work, my days highlights are The Ellen Show and Dr Oz.  So one day Dr Oz says that I just have to have these Crispbread thingies.  I NEVER fall for that malarchy. 

Well almost never.  I ordered, not 1 pkg. but half a case of these babies all the way from Norway.  A few days later I receive a box via UPS.  I think, "Glory to God, I can finally lose weight, become regular and look like a Norwegian hottie in no time".  Why I bet I could become the spokeswoman for this miracle wafer.  I rip open the box, tear into one of the 15 packages containing 10 crackers/wafers/crispbread/manna from heaven; whatever. 

If you have ever wondered what compressed tree bark tastes like, well have I got a deal for you.  Now, they are only 12 calories per slice.  So for the first few days I was carrying a cracker around with my morning coffee, but after a few days I noticed uneaten crackers still sitting around.  Do the math, I've got a 150 of these thingies that I couldn't pay anyone to eat.  I'm a waste not, want not kinda gal.  I bought them.  I'll eat them.  Solution: I slathered them with cream cheese and low sugar orange marmalade and couldn't stop eating those suckers.  Oh, what's that you say?  Something about calories?  Sorry, I can't hear you.....I'm in the bathroom...

Okay, I'm back now.  Along with my other issues I also can't sleep.  I've had this problem my whole life.  I've tried everything.  Well, except maybe regular exercise, but whatever.  So now I just don't let it bother me much.  One night recently I decided to catch up on some blog reading.  I landed on TreeFall Design.  One of my favorite reads by a lovely redheaded Brit, Manda McGrory, who uses words like whilst and mum and makes handmade goodness with a focus on repurposing.  I came across her CRAFT HOPE book giveaway (scroll down to August 24 to see Manda's great review, and she contributed a project for the book).  The next morning I was still thinking about that book.  I don't normally enter blog contests and giveaways, since I didn't think I should.  But I did.  And I won.  Don't hate me. 

So after devouring too many crispbreads, I took a break on my back porch to enjoy this treat.  Jade Sims has gathered some wonderful designers and 32 projects that can be made and donated to specific charities.  Such inspiration.  I was drawn to this book because we belong to an awesome church that is actively involved in loving and empowering the marginalized, both locally and globally.  Crafting for a cause is especially interesting to me. 

8 comments:

  1. you absolutely just cracked me up - I needed a pick me up today - thank you!!!

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  2. Compressed tree bark! I love it-not the bark, just the image!

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  3. Oh Paula. I so need a swift kick in the ... uh, anyway I need to get motivated toward crafting with a cause. I have nothing to do with my time but eat bon-bons {most days I entertain Dr. Oz, Dr. Phil AND Oprah--I'm so gosh darned enlightened} and stare at my Pilates DVD wondering when it will do something other than just sit there.

    I need to get on this. If you run across anything requiring a group effort, I'm your sewist. I can't look another long winter in the eye without a major project {not including a divorce if I start redoing the house yet again, although that would give me the opportunity to decorate a second home. Hmmmm.}.

    Seriously, anybody got a project out there they could use help with?

    Ellen

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  4. I enjoyed reading your post! Yeah I'm a waste not want not kinda gal also....and will eat something i hate for weeks just to not waste the money i used to buy it. oh wells!

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  5. Thanks for the giggle! You are a braver woman than me- last time I bought 'cardboard' to eat, I did *NOT* perservere, I did the only thing possible- threw them away in the paper recycling bin! I hope the recycling depot got the joke.

    One ageing thing I want to solve- where are all these fines hairs coming from? And how to get rid of the thick black one growing on the back of my hand! I've plucked it, snipped it, waxed it and it still keeps coming back...

    Great post!

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  6. I'm in my thirties but after having two kids back to back I wonder what has happened to my body. At the gym I cannot ignore the fact that I do not look the way I did just a few years ago. Today, I am an apple with two sticks for legs.

    Oh, and thanks for laugh with those crackers!

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  7. Ms. Prass you make me laugh out loud! Your candor is refreshing and entertaining! The crafting for a cause is close to my heart too..thanks.
    Sherri

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  8. {{howling with laughter}} ~ You just described my day & my body!

    Laughter is good for boosting immunity (another bit from Dr Oz ?) Thank you :-)

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