Friday, November 4, 2011

NEED TO REMEMBER


Back in September I attended an event.  There were some strong opinions regarding not sharing personal things on your blog.  While I certainly appreciate the points that were made, I've pondered this for over a month now.  Anyway, a year ago I made a tough decision to share a very difficult personal thing in my life.  I knew it was a touchy thing to do, but I have always been open and heck, it's my blog.  I continue to receive emails weekly from moms thanking me and sharing their own secret pain.  Secret, because we are only supposed to talk about the rainbows, never the rain, even with the closest people in their lives?  I tried that earlier today, only blogging about the outward pretty things of life.  Then I felt like crap.  I lost my son a year ago to a horrible drug overdose and I just can't sweep it under the rug, no matter how beautiful the rug might be.  I had so many incredible friends who walked beside us through this tragedy and I am missing all of them so much right now.  They let me laugh AND cry.  What an amazing gift.  Love you all extra much today.

27 comments:

  1. Please, share away. I was just thinking about that the other day (missing you at Quilt Market!). Big hugs today!

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  2. Love you, Paula. Thank you for being yourself.

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  3. I think sharing SOME of the personal stuff on the blog is wonderful. It is great to see the human side of others.

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  4. Hello Paula,
    I don't think I ever left a comment here in your blog. But, however I love your blog. I prayed with my family when you shared about the loss of your son.
    I have a blog too. And many people I know warned me too not to get too personal.
    But, isn't that what a blog is about?
    A diary, journal, of your life or what you enjoy. And life is not always rainbows.
    Anyway... Yes, it is "your" blog.
    My family just ended a very rough trial in our life. We did not loose anyone. No. But, it was a horrid trial to be in.
    When I shared too much about it, people did not stop and read anymore. I think it is because they don't know what to say and hearing someone else's struggles makes them feel uncomfortable. And it could maybe cloud their still so "good" day.
    Share away Paula, I like honest outward and inside sharing. It is what makes us truly "us".

    Hug

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  5. I remember reading your story when it happened, and prayed and cried for your loss too. At a funeral recently the minister said that joy shared is joy doubled, and sorrow shared is sorrow halved. Hugs to you today.

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  6. I hope it helps to know that so many people are thinking of you. I have thought of you and your family often. Your sweet boy who had such a terrible struggle. You are a wonderful mom, talk about him!

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  7. I've been thinking about you lately and about how awful last year was. I'm glad you share the rain...it helps me appreciate the rainbow that much more. xoxo

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  8. Paula, I don't hang around blogs too long that don't share the personal side of themselves. I love your fabric, I love your openness and I love you! I was so happy to finally meet you in person this past spring in Salt Lake City. May you feel at peace today and always when thinking about Jonathan. ((Hugs))

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  9. While I have never experienced the type of loss you have, your honest and touching posts have made me realize it could happen to any of us. If so, it is a blessing to know that someone would understand. Jonathan's life was, and remains, important. Sending loving thoughts your way, today and always.

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  10. Well Paula you made it through the first year and I know some days it must have been a struggle but you carried on and I know it was hard I could read between the lines. Thanks for keeping on blogging I am sure you helped many people out there. Thinking of you and your family today and of course your son. Blessings to all Sandra

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  11. Thinking of you today. XO

    I prefer blogs that add in the personal. My favorite ones always do. How else can you get to know or connect with the blogger? I think a blog should include mostly business/art stuff, but with some of the personal thrown in. It's too flat without.

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  12. Paula I thought of you at market(wishing you were there). I think it's a good thing to share that you are hurting. Losing your child is too big to hold in by yourself. You have a community of women that understand the deep love a mother has for her child. Please share and know we hurt with you. God bless you sweet Paula. You are loved very much by so many. Hugs.

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  13. Hi Doll! I've been thinking about you lately! Wondering if you were at market and what you have been up to. I think your blog is perfect! As are you..and your fabric. Every blog that I love has personal things on it...yours included. We are all human.
    Miss you!
    xoxo

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  14. I think about you often. My own son at 15 is pushing all the boundaries and experimenting with drugs. I remember the knock on the door in the middle of the night, and pray that we will get through ourselves. Thanks for sharing, I'm glad you shared your story, it makes me realise I am not the only mum who worries and prays and hopes for the best!

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  15. just read your post today....can't believe it's already been a year. sometimes sharing personal events from your life, even with complete strangers can help a person heal a little bit. sure there will always be people who will warn us from doing this, but at the end of the day, we are all human. we all experience the same feelings with love, hurt, sadness, etc., but deal with them differently. If blogging about it helps minimize the pain on some of our rainy days, then what is the harm in putting it out there. if people don't want to read about it, then they have a choice of not following and then your are left with only those who really care.
    - sending you love & support from california. wait.....i think you may have already moved out here also. :)

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  16. Thanks again for being real.
    Hugs to you!
    Leisa

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  17. I love that you share, it helps us feel more deeply for others. I know that I prayed for you and will pray again. Keep sharing and we as a community are always here for you. It helps to talk about experiences with other people.

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  18. I don't know your whole story, but I'm glad you share your pain; how else would we know to pray for you? I am praying God will give you comfort and give you peace and some- day you will be able to give that comfort to someone else.

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  19. I think in sharing the personal with us, you name the reality of not only your loss but also the reality of how we try to minimize them. The truth is death causes huge shifts in our individual worlds which we struggle as best we can to adapt to and learn who we are now in face of them. Its not certainly not pretty and full of rainbows but shows our depth of love and loss.

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  20. I am so sorry for your loss Paula. Right around the time your son passed away, my son started using heroin and continues to do so. I honestly don't know how I am going to survive this, I can't imagine losing him, but it is looming on the horizon.
    I started a blog about this nightmare: www.mysonisanaddict.wordpress.com
    Best wishes...

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  21. Paula, I have been a fan for quite some time. I remeber when you posted about your loss last year. I can't for one second understand what you are going through or even what to say to a mommy who lost one of their babies. Being a mom to 4, I don't know if I would have the strength and courage. Thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family will remain in my prayers!!

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  22. As we LOVE you, for being human enough to SHARE! xo

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  23. thankyou for sharing and your honesty, raw emotions and all. Thank God for the quilting community, we are a bunch of warm, creative caring souls who understand other women. Lots of love to you, Michelle xx

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  24. Ignore people when they tell you not to share your personal stuff. Share what you are comfortable with. That is what we all are hoping of each other because this is what makes us human. Lovely messy humans.

    I am SO very sorry for your loss. Truly, truly sorry.

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  25. I am just now reading this, today. And my heart is so filled up to the brim for you, that I can only hope and pray that the intensity of the loss and pain has eased some for your, and for your family since this tragic day.

    It never ceases to amaze me, the terrible things we all face, endure and survive. It is a testament to the love you had for your beautiful boy and your ability to share when you know it might touch another's heart and allow your own to heal in that process.

    Bless you for sharing. This is the kind of post that should have had hundreds, if not thousands of comments as it is a real one with depth and meaning and connection.

    I am so tired of so many copycat bloggers who will only comment ..hundreds of comments..on 'I like your shade of red.'

    This is why we communicate, and share, and create..this universal connections between all of our hearts and how we still manage to find beauty and love in the world that is still left for us to all live in.

    Bless you and your tender heart, Paula. And many, many blessings for your precious son who has left behind the sunshine of his life as well as the storms, and the rain.

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