Warning: this is not a lighthearted post.
|JONATHAN AND ME BETTER TIMES 2001|
Breathe. I kept telling myself to breathe. I was just hearing the worst words that I thought I had already prepared myself for, but my mind was jumping to other things. Like I wondered how old these two officers were…I bet Jonathan’s age. I thought about my mismatched nightwear. When I grabbed my favorite pajama pants out of the drawer I realized the matching top was in the dirty clothes. Tired and thinking, “Who cares” I grabbed an extremely old t-shirt that I’d never throw away. I quick glanced down at myself and wondered what they thought of my mismatched attire and if through my clenched hands they could see the worn words World’s Greatest Mom. Isn’t it amazing that Tim was here in town instead of in San Diego. I had to force myself to stay focused on what I didn’t want to hear. I thought what a tough job these officers have and Tim thought it too, because as they were leaving Tim was thanking them for all they do.
It still feels like it’s Friday….just a very long day that won’t end. I know I’m breathing now because I can hear my sobbing. It comes in waves. Tim said it’s like the flu. You think you’re starting to feel better when suddenly your body revolts again.
|JENNIFER AND JONATHAN SPRING 2001|
We are finalizing plans for a memorial here in Indianapolis and I hope to have that information soon. His friends in Portland are having theirs on the 14th. We all need to share how Jon made us laugh and how much we will miss him.
When we are too weak to pray, your prayers and kind messages are the strength we need to put one step in front of another. One of my Facebook friends grew up in Nashville with my kids and sent me this note. I thought of all my fabric friends:
I pray that the strength that has sustained you these many years comes to wrap you up like a big quilt and carry you until you are strong again.
|MAKING ME LAUGH|