Monday, December 20, 2010


Christmas is going to be very different this year.  I have admittedly been very nostalgic.  I'm sure there are many more photos packed away in shoe boxes that I just haven't gone through yet, but here are some Christmas photos we scanned in before Jonathan's Memorial.  The first three are so precious to me because I was a single mom back then and many of the toys and clothes under the tree were actually hand-me-downs donated from families.  But look how happy Jennifer and Jonathan were.  I'm almost sure this was the Christmas that someone brought a used doll for Jennifer that pooped it's diaper when you fed it food.  It didn't take me long to figure out why they were so eager to pass it down to us.  The doll ate real baby food that turned rancid inside the doll.  Ah yes, wonderful memories.

This next photo was taken on Christmas eve while visiting our friends in Pittsburgh.  The kids were so excited and didn't want to miss a thing, esp Santa.  Isn't this so precious?  Jennifer still gets that glazed look just before bedtime.

And I'm particularly fond of this beauty.... me decorating Jonathan.  Yes, we were an odd family.

Here we are dressed in our holiday garb and me practicing a kinder and gentler choke hold, which came in mighty handy during those teenage years.

Not the best picture, but one of the last Christmases with Jonathan.

 My heart aches, but I have so much to be thankful for.  We had some great times of love and laughter and fond memories.  I've been remembering the time we heard a big crash and raced in to find the Christmas tree over on it's side and Jonathan as white as a sheet on all fours behind where the Christmas tree had been standing.  He knocked it over while sneaking to see if the gifts tucked behind the tree were for him.  And another time he unwrapped his presents to see what he was getting and not so carefully re-wrapped them.  If that wasn't bad enough he then commented on the gloves Jennifer got him before he opened her gift.  And how about the time he "accidentally" sucked all the water out of the tree base with the vacuum hose? 

Once the Pee Wee Herman Show told the kids to get some pots and pans and go wake up your parents on Saturday morning, but we were already awake so Jon decided to wake Jennifer instead.  We had to peel her from the ceiling. 

I had my fair share of mischievous behaviour.  When Jon was a teenager I had a friend spending Saturday night and we had to sit on the floor because Jon fell asleep across the sofa and refused to go up to bed.  So I painted his nails red.  Next morning he hopped in the shower at the last minute before church and we all heard a scream.  Running late he had to keep his hands in his pockets all through church.

We need those playful, fun memories.  Otherwise the difficult times would be too unbearable.  So this Christmas I'll be making some new memories with our grandchildren.  Maybe I'll go buy me some bright red nail polish. 

Have a wonderful holiday filled with all that matters most...each other!

Monday, December 6, 2010


I try almost daily to write a post to all of you who have sent me such incredible love this last month.  But the right words just escape me.  I sit with a blank stare, then eventually give up.  I try to figure how I can possibly transition from that knock at the door to the awesome things that were just about to be unveiled in my creative world.  You have been so awesome to share that doing life is not always pretty or easy for you either.  But we try our best to find the beauty where ever we can, because that's what we do, right?

Thank you for asking how I'm doing; much better, I think.  Well I'm not running into walls so much anymore.  Seriously; not strange or unfamiliar walls, but the walls in my own house that haven't moved for the last twelve years.  Then it was such a relief to be able to get through the memorial for Jonathan.  I was so extremely focused on the details of that memorial and Tim, Jennifer and I getting through it still standing, that I actually felt a bit of short-lived euphoria.  However, Thanksgiving was only a few days later and no longer were we cleaning up from that dinner that the Christmas season officially began.  I forced myself to put up the tree.  It took two days.  I still have the ornaments that Jonathan made as a child, then I find myself rolled up in a fetal position.  So many memories during the holidays feels like salt poured on a fresh wound.  Anyone that's been through trauma or rehab, etc. knows how magnified those memories become.  But each day is better and while I'm not quite at full speed yet, I am finding much comfort in getting back to being creative again.  

So, speaking of being creative....did I tell you I designed a new home decor line for Demdaco that will be available after January 1st?  Here's just a sampling of what to expect:  


There's lots more picture frames, so we will no longer be making each and every frame right here.  That, I might add, is a HUGE deal! It has been such a delight to work with Demdaco and can't wait for you to see the entire collection.  If you know of any stores in your area that you know NEEDS to carry my line, just send a note and I'll see what we can do to make that happen.  And can you believe, I'm already at work on the 2012 designs for Demdaco and I am VERY excited about that next direction.

Oh, and did you notice I finally changed my blog header?  About time you say?  I do have more exciting things to share with you soon, my dear friends.  Thanks for sticking with me and coming back to see what I'm up to. 


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