Saturday, September 10, 2011


Today would have been Jonathan's birthday.  No matter how bad he was doing, I could always count on him resurfacing around his birthday.  I've been dreading September 10 knowing I'd have to face another reality.  Three days ago I actually got an email from Jon Prass.  I sat there and tried not to freak out.  No words, just an attachment which I would not open.  Tim investigated when he got home and some freaks used his email to sell Viagra.  Jon would've chuckled.  Maybe he still did.  But the timing sucked.  It all sucks.  Got on his Facebook page late last eve and saw the messages his friends were leaving him.  I laid awake all night.

One of the friends I met through Facebook and Twitter is the amazing artist, Laura Zarrin.  Right before this past Mother's Day I got a surprise package from her with this artwork she made for me.  It about brought me to my knees. 


Thing is, others thought about me on Mother's Day and along the way sending notes of encouragement or just offering a word or two.  Wow.  That's the kind of amazing friends I have.  And I, on the other hand, have been so lame to not share these blessings with you.  I'm making a promise to do better.  I swear, I take pictures and jot notes down about what I want to tell you all, but then I just feel like the wind gets knocked out of my sails.  I have so much to share and I just need to do it!  Maybe in smaller spurts.  I can do this! 

Jennifer and I hung out on Skype today.  Both on our sofas without makeup and talking for what seemed like a couple hours.  2000 miles apart.  We were barely off the phone when flowers appeared at the door..from my girl.  Aren't they beautiful?  Isn't she beautiful?  Only thing better would have been for us to be together today and tomorrow....we're sure we would've shopped.  

Tomorrow is another day that will forever bond Jennifer and I closer together.  See, Jennifer was on business in downtown NY on 9/11.  It was the worst several hours until she could call to say she was okay and days before she could get back home.  It's was such a sobering time when she got back and the memories come flooding back every year, esp. on this 10 year anniversary.   I'm so thankful for the social media on days like these.

Speaking of social media, we were in that  royal blackout that affected 1.4 million people here a couple days ago.  Our cell phones weren't even working.  No internet, TV, nothing.  It was a stinkin 100 degrees too.  I always like the initial adventure, brought candles and a lantern to an elderly neighbor we met right there on the spot.  She is quite a delightful lady and we might not have met so quickly.  We made a very interesting dinner and ate outside by candlelight.  With all the lights out EVERYWHERE the stars were brilliant.  Then we hopped in the car and drove around, both for the breeze and the radio news.  The news said families were forced to spend the evening together, neighbors grilled out,  sharing food.  We should all have mandatory random blackouts, don't ya think?  Well, unless you're in an elevator or on an amusement park ride....then you're exempt.  Anyway, everything came back on here 12 hrs later (in the middle of the night) which set off the house alarms.  With all the windows and doors open for air that sat us straight up and outta bed before we were awake!

Since I haven't been a good friend I haven't told you that I was asked to participate in The Creative Connection which is, OH MY, like in a few days!  I am on a panel for a Pitch Slam.  When they asked me I was a bit reluctant since I don't really work out.   However, after better understanding I learned I am not required to do the pitch slamming.  Instead, I'm on a roundtable listening to people pitch their designs for the Gift Industry.  That sounds much safer, doesn't it?  I'm truly excited to be a part of this roundtable and rub elbows with my fellow Demdaco buddies.  I do license my artwork  for fabrics and artwork, as well, so I think I have something to bring to the (round) table.  I am so needing to get out and be amongst creative peeps right now while passing along the knowledge I have gained.  So, are any of you attending? 

Last on my list of "I'm going to do better":  We found the pillow for the giveaway that the movers played Scramble with.  I am not announcing the winner, however, until I find the post office.  Love you!


  1. Thanks for the mention, Paula. I just had to do something. I could feel your pain across the miles.

    At least you've got two tough days together. Get it all over with at once.

    When I found out you were going to be at the pitch slam & TCCE, I was dying to go, but couldn't work it out this time. You'll be great and I want to hear all about it even if it's in small bursts.

  2. I enjoyed chatting with you and your daughter at market this past spring. (and see I do comment on your blog!) While we chatted I pondered whether I should hug you and give you my condolences but I thought it might be better not to bring up your boy and make you start crying. Market isn't the best place to break down. But I'm glad you have people to reach out to and that you and your daughter were able to talk face to face. Skype is wonderful.

    Jonathan's friend is a talented artist. How nice of her to think of you and make such a wonderful gift.

    I'm glad you have your power back and have something fun to look forward to. I know that you will have a great time at The Creative Connection. You have a lot to share and those who come in will appreciate your advice. Enjoy!

  3. Oh, Paula, big hugs to you. That piece by Laura is beautiful and such a thoughtful gift.

    I went to The Creative Connection Event last year and it was amazing. I'm sure you'll have a great time!

  4. Oh man, Paula. Prayers going up for you and yours and love heading straight toward you.

  5. being a MOTHER is HARD-but having _ _ _ _ _ take away a child no matter the age, leaves a HOLE in our HEART: TIME does help, but there's still a hole. God Bless

  6. Thinking of you today, Paula. Can't wait to see you in a fee short days!

  7. I had no idea. :( I am truly sorry. Best wishes on tcc, wish I could be there.

  8. Oh Paula. I love you and Jen so much and I'm sending all my love today. I know this has been such a bad year for your family. When we were all sitting together that night in Salt Lake City (laughing our eyes out), I remember Jenean handed you a drink and you said "How much do I owe you?" and Jenean said "Nothing. I just love you so much Paula." It struck me then how much people love you because I feel the same way Jenean does and I know so many of our friends share that love for you.
    Have a wonderful time at Creative Connection!

  9. I thought about you all often today. I hope you took a moment to celebrate Jonathans life and the peace he now has. It was so wonderful talking to you yesterday-- we need to chat more...and get together soon. Enjoy your time at TCC...and if your bag shows up with what looks like a 10 years olds handwriting on the box, that's because someone ran out of the house for a day trip without mailing the bag and had to call her 10 year old daughter to do the job for her (wasn't me! lol) It will be at your door on Monday. Enjoy yourself next week. hugs and love.

  10. Sending thoughts and prayers your way, Paula. *hugs*, Genevieve

  11. What a beautiful & thoughtful work of art. Thinking of you.

  12. Paula I think of you now and a again. I know we don't even know each other but the tragic death of your son has stayed with me. I do pray it will get easier. You are such a beautiful happy soul and it's heartbreaking to know your hurt. May the Lord bless you and keep you sweet lady.

  13. I'm so glad you have such good friends to see you through such a tough time. Hang in there. Hope you're adapting to San Diego! I went to college there and I loved living there. I hope the future holds nothing but happiness for you.

  14. My thoughts and prayers are with you Paula, I don't comment on your blog but have to tell you that there by the grace of God go my husband and I.. Our son fought this battle so your story hit me very hard..(thank the Lord he has come through it) You are an amazing woman, hold tight to your family and know that you are loved by people you have never even met!
    Big hugs
    Jenny xoxo



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